Background The emergency department (ED) is nobody’s preferred place of care at the end of their life. For many reasons it is not an ideal environment in which to die. This study was planned to look into what it is like to die in an emergency setting, through talking to family members who had been with a patient who died in the ED.

Aims The purpose of this nursing research study was to understand the experience of death and dying in the emergency department of a hospital, through listening to the experiences of bereaved family members and thus to learn how the experience can be improved.

Methods Allowing the relatives to describe their experiences was key, therefore this study was planned as a phenomenological research study using the work of Merleau-Ponty (Phenomenology of perception. Routledge; 2013). Bereaved relatives gave in-depth interviews describing their experiences. Recruitment was via social media. The interviews were analysed using an adaptation of the work of Thomas and Pollio (Listening to patients: A phenomenological approach to nursing research and practice. Springer Publishing; 2002) and Hycner (Human studies. 1985; 8(3):279–303), consistent with Merleau-Ponty’s theories.

Results The bereaved relatives described diverse experiences. What was compelling was a universal agreement as to what would constitute a good death in these circumstances The relatives described the need for a calm peaceful environment, excellent communication with the medical staff, good symptom management and truly patient-centred care.

Conclusions The study brings new understanding of what it is like to die in an emergency setting through new understanding of what the relatives/friends of the deceased person experience. Uniquely, the voice of the bereaved loved one is heard. The results of this study will be disseminated to ED staff and students and it is hoped will contribute to the ongoing development of patient-centred care at the end of life in the emergency setting.